Don’t let the past cloud your present and future

Whether you follow Facebook, Pinterest or other sources you no doubt have seen a variety of positive sayings to persuade you to let go of past baggage.  I believe in it too though I can tell you from personal experience it’s easier said than done.  We can spend our whole lives trying.  Some never succeed.  That just makes you human not a bad person!

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.

Johnny Cash

For decades I wrote two blogs.  One was on CAD (Computer Aided Drafting).  I blogged almost every day with screen captures of tips and tricks, new pieces, or anything I believed would be helpful to readers.  It was shared among many industry experts.  I changed careers.  I thought it would be on the Internet forever.  I never checked it.  One day a few years later I wanted to share something from it.  Low and behold I found that it was gone!  Where did it go?  As it turned out the site that I used was sold to someone else.  Emails were sent to notify.  I no longer had the email so never knew anything about it.  I was so mad!  I was mad at myself.  I was blaming myself for not checking it regularly.  The anger stuck with  me for far too long.  

The other blog was almost daily posts about my late husband’s Multiple Myeloma.  It was originally started when he was going for a stem cell transplant so I didn’t need to email or call everyone we knew.  They could just check the blog.  Later it became and outlet of sorts and a way to share with other patients.  I have met some other patients since then and while I can share a little in an email, all the info that might give them hope or take their minds off their own cancer from the blog is gone.  

It was only a blog, right?  It wasn’t as if I had a health problem or lost a family member.  It wasn’t serious.  Do you think I’m crazy?  It sounds silly, right?  I still get frustrated if it comes to my mind.  Luckily that’s not often. I think I’m mostly mad at myself.  I have never really committed to another blog the way I did that one because my heart just isn’t in it after that.  

I’m lucky.  I only have a small handful of events that have stuck with me that I can’t get over.  Some folks have much more.  What is it that irritates you years after it happened?  Was it an incident with a family member?  Did a friend do you wrong?  Are you mad at yourself?

 

Some of my Shenanigans

It’s time to share my stories. There are a bunch!

This photo was taken about 1980 give or take. The green ’60 Studebaker Lark was the nicest one we’d ever owned. We had only ’60 Larks except for two 1962’s. This one we spotted off the turnpike exit. I don’t remember how my dad managed to find the owner, but the owner was a salesman who said the engine blew up. I think he had to rent a car. Yes, he wanted to sell it.

My dad bought the car and since we had a lot of 259 ci V8 engines for Studebakers it was easy enough to swap it out. The building you see in the background was our 40′ x 50′ shop he built before moving our mobile home from a mobile home court to the property. He did the engine swap inside the shop. My mother never went into the shop. I don’t think I realized what his plan was.

This car was super clean, had a wonderful paint job, had fender skirts (that I have today), a hood ornament, padded dash and reclining seats. It was a regal package with most every option. The push button radio worked and it was an automatic. It also had a professional, heavy duty 3 hole punch in the trunk that was just a big find! I have kept that punch with me all my life. I was in high school at the time and now am 62 at this writing so that hole punch has been my pride and joy for over 4 decades. Yes, I am a nerd!!!

My dad polished the car and kept it in the shop. Then he ran a string from it and all through the woods and up and down the creek. It ended at the home attached to a small package about the size of a jewelry box with a note to follow the string. He made it as a gift for my mother as a really nice car to be proud to drive to work.

This photo of the two cars together was one of my shenanigans that I got in trouble for more than once. The convertible was my car that I got for my 16th Christmas gift. That would’ve been 1979. It was white at the time and just like the one my dad got as his high school graduation gift it had the 259 ci V8, 3 speed (on the tree) and overdrive (OD). I had it painted red so it would just like the one my dad had. (Can you tell I’m a Daddy’s girl?)

The green Lark had radial tires which was a new thing for us. My convertible had bias ply tires. I would park them side by side like shown and swap all four. I can tell from this photo that the green Lark had my bias ply tires in the photo because besides the winter treads in the rear, I can clearly see the red rims on the green car. I would get better mileage with the radials. I was obsessed with mileage and tried my best to get 25-30 mpg. I would have to swap back when my dad noticed the red rims on the green car. I did this at least twice.

Indecently, the German Shepherd in both photos was Obi Wan Kenobi. She was a female and I was obsesses with Star Wars when it came out, but only the Jedi. I decided that Obi sounded like a uni-sexual name. That was on her AKC registration. Yep, color me a nerd!

My Reading List

In no particular order.

12 Ways to Age Gracefully: How to Look and Feel Younger by Susan U Neal

All It Takes Is a Goal: The 3-Step Plan to Ditch Regret and Tap into Your Massive Potential by Jon Acuff

The Compound Effect: Multiply Your Success One Simple Step at a Time by Darren Hardy

Atomic Habits by James Clear

In Case You Get Hit by a Bus: How to Organize Your Life Now for When You’re Not Around Later by Abby Schneiderman Author, Adam Seifer Author Gene Newman Author

Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye

The Road Less Stupid by Keith J. Cunningham

Stage (Not Age): How to Understand and Serve People Over 60—the Fastest Growing, Most Dynamic Market in the World by Susan Wilner Golden

The Go-Giver, Expanded Edition: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea

Fiber Fueled: The Plant-Based Gut Health Program for Losing Weight, Restoring Your Health, and Optimizing Your Microbiom by Will Bulsiewicz MD

Show Your Work!: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered by Austin Kleon

Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition Paperback
by T. Colin Campbell Author, Howard Jacobson Author

The China Study, Revised and Expanded Edition by T. Colin Campbell PhD and Thomas M Campbell, MD

Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts by Oliver Burkeman

The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest by Dan Buettner

The Blue Zones Solution: Eating and Living Like the World’s Healthiest People by Dan Buettner

How Not to Die by Michael Greger M.D. FACLM Author, Gene Stone Author

Photo Organizing made easy Going from OVERWHELMED to OVERJOYED by Cathi Nelson with Jordan Babeon

Keep the Memories, Not the Stuff by Jeannine Bryant

The Connection Algorithm by Jesse Warren Tevelow

Hustle by Jesse Warren Tevelow

Living Forward A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want by Michael Hyatt & Daniel Harkavy

Let Go by Pat Flynn

The Hormone Reset Diet by Sara Gottfried, M.D.

Brain Body Diet by Sara Szal Gottfied, M.D.

Differentiate or Die by Jack Trout, Steve Rivkin

Healthy Aging by Andrew Weil, M.D.

Dr. Andrew Weil’s Guide to Optimum Health

When God Whispers Your Name by Max Lucado

With the Old Breed by E.B. Sledge

Factory Man by Beth Macy

Dopesick by Beth Macy

Killing the Rising Sun by Bill O’Reilly, Martin Dugard

The Things Our Fathers Saw by Matthew A Rozell

China Marine by E.B. Seldge, Stephen E Ambrose

Baa Baa Black Sheep by Gregory “Pappy” Boyington

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

Ninja Selling by Larry Kendall

Stage (Not Age) by Susan Wilner Golden

All it Takes is A Goal by Jon Acuff

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki

Will it Fly? How to Test Your Next Buisness Idea So You Don’t Waste Time and Money by Pat Flynn

Extenuating Circumstances

I haven’t been on social media much at all the past several weeks. While it’s been healthy there’s a reason. You see I suffered a home fire on January 20, 2021 which was our inauguration day in the U.S. It’s an easy date to remember.

The day seemed fine. I was busy most of it and found myself coming home late in the afternoon and tackling some chores. One of which took me to my basement, where I have some storage as well as my laundry area and a basement apartment where a friend lives. I walked upstairs and within about 2 minutes heard the fellow from the basement yelling at me that there was a fire. We were lucky that we were there, it had just happened, and we and our 3 pets could get out quickly and call 911 from the porch. The cause of the fire was the stove in the basement apartment.

I have always tried to be prepared for anything. I have talking smoke detectors and fire extinguishers in two locations in basement and in kitchen on the main floor. We were very lucky. Perhaps we could’ve put it out with a fire extinguisher but I believed it better to leave it to the fire department.

I try to make any experience a learning experience as well as a good time to share with others so you can learn from my experiences. Because of this I want to teach you what I’ve learned so far so you can check your own policy and plans.

I’ve always been aware that there are different parts of homeowner’s policies. I remember for all my years as a homeowner being given totals for rebuilding that is usually calculated by insurance companies and for personal property. Each of these amounts is different between different companies. I have in the past had higher limits for personal property when I’ve had large collections of firearms or other valuables over the years. Because I’ve purged a lot in the 10 years since my husband’s death I’ve accepted the recommended amount of personal property insurance.

What I’ve learned is that even though the actual burn area was confined to the kitchen area of the basement and ceiling tiles, everything in the house clear up through the attic is affected by smoke. Smoke penetrates everything in the home both in structure and in personal property.

Attic insulation needs to be replaced. Electronics are affected and lifetime shortened. Paper and plastic holds smoke and can’t be cleaned professionally (though I suspect an ozone machine might help). Besides smoke damage you may have water damage from the fireman.

Here’s some information you should know.

  • Personal property falls into three categories.
    • One includes items that can be cleaned.
    • One is items you wish to keep that can’t be cleaned. Some examples for me were my photos, my record collection, some mementos, and a few books.
    • The last one is items that can’t be cleaned that you decide not to keep and are considered a loss.
  • Personal property loss is best handled by content inventory specialists. They create a detailed list of every item that you agree will be a loss. They physically pick up every item and everything is counted. It’s very important to have the inventory folks come in first after the fire inspector from the insurance company completes his or her inspection.
  • You and only you choose the company to remediate (clean) your belongings that can be cleaned. Choose wisely. You will also need a company to rebuilt. Few companies do both. You will be targeted by remediation companies when they learn of the fire and your insurance adjuster will recommend one as well.
  • The packing, moving, cleaning and storage of your items to be remediated comes under your personal property portion of your insurance. This is important to note. For example if you are insured for $150,000 personal property and the remediation company charges you $50,000 for then you are down to $100,000.
  • Damage to personal property can be:
    • Destroyed (no evidence of item left)
    • Smoke Damage (smells)
    • Water Damage (from fireman for example)

I didn’t know a lot of these details and believe I’ve always been in the know. You don’t know what you don’t know. This is what I’m learning…the hard way!

The first step was to go through the house with the remediation crew and determine what could be cleaned and what couldn’t. I don’t have a lot of furniture and what I have is solid wood. I have gradually moved away from cardboard and to storing in plastic totes. I do save boxes from any items I purchase or receive as gifts that are of value. This includes collectibles in my curio cabinets, computers, electronics. I have a lot of books. I love books.

The furniture can be cleaned. My brand new Tempur-Pedic mattress and adjustable base had to be disposed of and counted as a loss. Books will hold smoke smell and cannot be cleaned. They must be inventoried so that you can be paid for the loss. Of hundreds of books I kept my cookbooks and some books that were special to me or I knew my son would want some day. Plastic cannot be cleaned. That means that while I prefer to use glass storage bowls many do have plastic lids and I do have a few plastic cups for outside and some plastic storage containers. I have plastic cake and pie covers and pitchers. All must be tossed. All food must be tossed even if new in the package.

The much harder thing I now realize is that if everything burned to the ground and you were left with ashes you would be sad. You would be given your money to replace your personal property. That’s honestly what I think many of us, and certainly me, think of when we think of the personal property part of our homeowner’s insurance. The harder thing is the items that look perfectly fine and you see no reason to toss but certainly don’t want to smell smoke when they are brought back into your smoke-free home in the future.

There are some discrepancies. One is regarding plastic totes. Plastic will hold the smell and can’t be cleaned. Maybe it could be wiped down inside and out. Most of the totes I use have tight fitting lids. One company involved with me told me that everything needed to be removed from the totes and the totes disposed of. Another company told me that depending on what was inside and how well it was sealed it very well would be fine and could be boxed into a new tote or a cardboard box at a later date. This has caused me far too much stress because I made some decisions that I think were wrong.

Also important are how the employees handle your stuff. The inventory folks handled everything so carefully and with respect. The remediation company’s main contact was great. The crew that came to do the work acted as if it was just another job and a bunch of stuff. They broke a large B-29 model when they knocked it, threw away some things that were supposed to be cleaned, didn’t follow directions on my LP collection, and several other mishaps from what I can only sum up as lack of care.

In the near future I will need help to clean out and rearrange a few things in my garage so I can line with shelves and move items I’m keeping into there. I have some other decisions to make in the future about cleaning and storage of my personal property now that I know the bill for this is coming out of my total personal property allowance.

I have been staying at a hotel since January 20th and the housing company the insurance company uses has found me a rental home where I will move later this month and stay until my home has been renovated. I anticipate wiring will need replaced and perhaps my new kitchen appliances because of circuit boards and Bluetooth technology. My recent instant hot water system that feeds my radiator heat and hot water at faucets will have to be replaced as will my mini-split system installed a year ago. My hardwood floors original to my 1938 home may have to come up because they may hold smell. I’m not sure what all will be recommended yet.

This time last year I was involved in my fabulous kitchen remodel. This year is a lot different!

Granite Installed!

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Granite install today.

We were supposed to have the granite installed Wednesday.  Then it was Thursday.  Then it was on hold be unknown because so many installers were out sick.  Today was a Saturday but Premiere Stone from Salem just really did a great job.  Two very likable guys just did an amazing job.  I had no idea how this was installed and was just fascinated to watch.  I can’t stop staring at it!

I think my favorite thing beside the pantry is the appliance area that my designer created.  It takes things like coffee makers and toasters off the main counter and created a place for those as well as a little extra counter space.  There is plenty of room to use mixer, crock pot, pressure cooker on the new space as well.  The outlets there are spaced far enough apart to not crowd any appliances.

I also love my new sink.  It’s the deepest I could get and has a lower center area so you can put large items in it such as a big pan with room for the handle.  The faucet and sink are not working yet.  That will come Tuesday.  It sure looks nice!

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Appliance bar directly across from the refrigerator

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Backsplash will be installed Monday.  I can hardly wait now to see it come together!

Kitchen Remodel 2020 Dilemnas

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Cabinets are complete

So the cabinets are all complete.  They were installed previously but we waiting on a couple of doors to be finished.  The area for the appliance bar was put in rather rushed and temporary for the granite install.

The granite install didn’t happen at all the week it was scheduled.  There was a delay of one day due to mis-communication.  Then they had five guys (not the burger joint!) out sick and their schedule got really messed up for everyone expecting installations.  Luckily I’m pretty laid back and easy.  It’s not a big deal.

This of course changed the schedule for a lot of other areas.

The biggest problem came from the most unexpected and smallest job one might say.  The paint.  I have all white walls in my entire home except for the two bedrooms that I have somewhat recently painted something NOT white.  I’m so sick of looking at white!

There were a lot of colors suggested by my designer but I wasn’t a fan.  I kept saying that with so much neutral colors of cabinets, flooring, granite, and backsplash I felt like we needed something bold to offset.  She showed me the paint color I immediately loved.  I will add that there isn’t much paint to show in the kitchen.  There is an attic door and a back door and most of the walls are covered by cabinets and backsplash.  One of the two areas to be painted is beside the back door.  That’s where dogs come and go and if one brushes against the wall or shakes from going out in the rain to pee made the white wall almost impossible to keep clean about dog height and below.  This new color will not show the dirt.

This brought about a gut-wrenching situation I never expected.  I’m pretty good at making up my mind.  I have all stained wood in my home except the bathroom where the previous owner remolded and painted white.  It doesn’t bother me at all.  In my mind and the way my brain works is that I must keep everything natural to the period and perfect.  This reminded me of something I heard about “I’m not the curator of this museum”.  I questioned myself but stayed firm that we would keep the stained wood.  That includes what had been around the back door, the doorway to the dining room, the attic door and frame, the window frame and sill, and all baseboards.

It was mentioned that I wanted white plantation shutters and asked if I was sure I wanted to keep the stained window frames?  I allowed the frame around the back door to be white because the trim was being replaced and the door is white so why not?  Then that baseboard between the new pantry and the back door looked out of place.  OK then it can be white.

I questioned the window situation far too much.  I posted it on Facebook asking for opinions just to see if I might be too close to the situation.  That didn’t help because it was divided just like my mind!  I finally decided the window trim could be painted when I looked at a picture of the stained trim next to the new cabinet.  But that was it.  No more white trim!  Final answer, Alex.

It pained me to see primer go over my pretty wood window.  I was almost sick as if I was putting a loving pet out of it’s misery.  I must be crazy.

The painter cut in the paint all around the edges of the walls and left for a little while.  I walked in the kitchen.  I stood and stared.  I was shocked.  I just couldn’t believe it.  It was so apparent that my decision made my nice, new kitchen look instantly dated.  I thought of all the homes I’d visited and comments I’d made about the dated features.  I knew I was going to have to go against all my beliefs about painting beautiful wood in order to make my kitchen stand out and look like a final product.

I called my designer and was still in a state of shock.  I sent her a photo.  I told her I was sorry to be so wishy washy.  I was going to have to change yet again and I knew it wasn’t going to happen today but on a future trip at some point.  I told the painter not to continue staining the baseboards.  Between the designer and I we decided to paint the surround to the door frames only in the kitchen only.  We would leave the attic door stained.  I could decide later if it bugged me.  Better to leave stain than have to remove.

The paint is great.  You can’t tell yet from the photos and the color doesn’t look right in these photos.  Here you’ll see what I saw that stood out as out of place.  I might be wrong and I’ve gone all over the place on this.  This was the hardest and most difficult part of the entire remodel process.  I doubt you not.

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Stain really look outdated against the cut in paint.

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Really look out of place.

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Stained windows are pretty. They look dated with the white of the replacement windows installed last year and the new cabinets.

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Primed

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Paint against pantry. The flash almost makes the cabinet look white. It’s a light grey.

Painter will come back late next week and put some more coats on what’s primed and touch up as needed.

 

 

Flooring follies

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The neutral flooring was chosen to be attractive, durable, and easy to clean with two big dogs running in and out.  It’s a laminate product that is cut to fit.  Designs by Cyndi pointed out the inlay option available with this pattern.  It is eye-catching and different.  I do like it.  Had I known how much work this would be to the father and son team that normally do ceramic tile I would have left that out.  They have worked so hard and are such perfectionist that this has been a labor intensive process for them.

They put down a wood base over my original wood floors and screwed down any squeaky boards as best they could in the process.  A good part of the first day was prep.  Day two got back to the back door.  It would have been completed all today except the fridge arrived and they lost a lot of time while it was brought in and set up.  They had to stay out of the way.

They have in front of sink and middle of floor left that they will do Saturday morning.

The granite template was to be done today.  When the granite person showed it was when they were bringing in my massive refrigerator in and he couldn’t even get to the kitchen.  We’ve rescheduled for Monday morning.  Granite install will be Wednesday and he says that’s enough time.

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Lots of time spent working around the radiator.

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New refrigerator It even dispenses hot water and coffee!

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Installing base for flooring

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Glue for adhesive

Cabinets are in!

Montgomery Cabinets have done an outstanding job.  These are quality wood cabinets.  Designs by Cyndi has really worked to make the most of my small space.

There are some doors yet to be added but everything is in place now for the granite company to come tomorrow and make their template.

I can now see the space where the stove and dishwasher will go.  They won’t be installed until after the granite.

Cyndi designed extra space for an appliance bar or some may call it a coffee bar.  It will be beside the radiator and while I’m not a coffee drinker there will be room for the toaster and outlets far enough away for Instant Pot or Crock Pot.  Granite will go over the top of the cabinet and radiator.

Two other great uses of space she designed are a pantry and cabinets above and beside the refrigerator.  I’m going to have so much more storage space and can adjust the shelves however I need to.  I couldn’t adjust shelves with my old cabinets.

I also have two wood pieces on the wall above the radiator to hang all my cast iron pans and it will all be very even.  This is something I saw on Pinterest and really wanted.

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Appliance bar area with bars above for cast iron

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Cabinets around the refrigerator

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Storage for cookie sheets and cupcake pans

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Pantry with two doors still to be added

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Pull out drawers in pantry

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Granite to cover radiator and cabinet for appliance bar

Notice the crown molding at the tops of cabinets?  The hardware is now installed.  I love it so far.

Thursday the floor will be installed.  That will be all new and shocking too.  Stay tuned for pictures with flooring.

Beginning of cabinets

Today was the first really exciting day in this kitchen renovation.  The cabinet maker came to begin installing cabinets.  The painter was supposed to have come first, but due to a mix up of drywall and everything going to shift to next week we were able to stick to the schedule of cabinets, flooring, and appliances this week.

Tomorrow will be second day of cabinet install and the granite template.

Thursday will be flooring.

Friday will be appliances.

Kudos to Montgomery Cabinets.  Absolutely thrilled with their work and work ethic.  Highly recommend.

Drywall

There hasn’t been much to show or talk about with the kitchen remodel over the past week.  It’s been pretty boring for the most part. 

The drywall installers added drywall to cover the hole where the ceiling fan was and go around the new can lights.  They added drywall over what had been the framed wall over exterior brick. 

We lost a day due to miscommunication.  Originally we were going with beadboard on the lower half of what little wall space will show.  After the designer and I met we decided that this was silly.  She let the foreman know with the drywall crew but he missed the message and didn’t have the crew fill in the gaps in the grooved plaster that looked like tile but wasn’t.  They did get it done but did that another day. 

Monday, January 27 was supposed to be paint day.  We ended up moving paint to the end.  There will be very little to be painted.  The ceiling will be the biggest part.  I was insistent that cabinets, flooring, and appliances stay on schedule.  Part of this was for my mental well being and part was for the buyer of my old refrigerator to be able to pick it up over the next weekend.